A Life Plan
I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life.
I want to. I feel lost when I don’t know what I’m going to do within the next few years. I want to get out of the country and I want to be free and it seems realistic. I’ll probably live in my mother’s basement until she dies, chasing the dream of becoming a psychiatrist or having a meaningful life…but only in my head.
I have to options. I can do good, go to collage, and then even more school and be a psychiatrist, or some sort of professional. I would really like that…
But I also want to be the opposite. Ditch school as soon as I graduate (because I hate it) and then live in my van, travelling the country and stuff, having a real wacky time.
I know I can’t be both, and I would feel empty if I ignored one dream. Maybe what’s best is if I stay in bed for the rest of my life watching movies…like I do now. Hmm…
I started thinking of death lately. I think I need to write out a radical bucket list and fulfil it as soon as possible. Death sort of became real when someone told me I was in some sort of danger (I don’t really want to explain) and so I want to be happy. Not waiting to graduate because I’m to dumb to get out of school on time.
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