A Life Plan

I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life.

I want to. I feel lost when I don’t know what I’m going to do within the next few years. I want to get out of the country and I want to be free and it seems realistic. I’ll probably live in my mother’s basement until she dies, chasing the dream of becoming a psychiatrist or having a meaningful life…but only in my head.

I have to options. I can do good, go to collage, and then even more school and be a psychiatrist, or some sort of professional. I would really like that…

But I also want to be the opposite. Ditch school as soon as I graduate (because I hate it) and then live in my van, travelling the country and stuff, having a real wacky time.

I know I can’t be both, and I would feel empty if I ignored one dream. Maybe what’s best is if I stay in bed for the rest of my life watching movies…like I do now. Hmm…

I started thinking of death lately. I think I need to write out a radical bucket list and fulfil it as soon as possible. Death sort of became real when someone told me I was in some sort of danger (I don’t really want to explain) and so I want to be happy. Not waiting to graduate because I’m to dumb to get out of school on time.

 

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Movies…

I’ve seen a lot of movies (that I either never saw before or haven’t seen all the way through), and I just thought I’d touch a bit on it.

1) Digging to China (1998)
Oh, come on. It’s Kevin Bacon, what could possible go wrong? Anyways, the movie was great, I saw it twice (because I was confused on some points, and still am on others). It was meaningful and a bit strange (which is always good). If you haven’t seen it> You should! It’s on the Netflix, and it’s radical!

2) The Diary of Anne Frank (2009)
I have no idea why I watched this, honestly. It just so happened I sat down and watched the whole thing. I ‘read’ the diary when I was in the Junior High School, but it was more clear in a movie display. It gave it a more ‘this was a real thing’ look at it.

3) Edward Scissorhands (1990)
I haven’t seen this movie in forever, and it was just as great as everyone knows it is. It’s a little sappy, and the last line of the film is the worst line possible, but man is it a great movie. I don’t think anyone can go without ever seeing it.

4) Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Okay, I saw this before, but I haven’t in a while, and I needed to freshen my memory of it. Come on, we all love Jeff Spicoli. Don’t lie.

5) Freedom Writers (2007)
I have no idea how I managed to sit through the whole thing. I think it’s because I wanted to hear more from the whitey in the class, but he ended up having about three major lines. So I made it to the end and then thought: did I just see an educational film?

Just thought I’d put some of the recent films I saw out there. I also recently saw The Outsiders, The Boy in Striped Pajamas, and some low budget film called Homeless or something. I also tried to watch a movie (I don’t even remember the name) about some suicidal shoe designer or something but had to stop it half way because it was incredibly boring. I’m going to watch a movie called My Life (1993) when I find the time.

Watching new films is pretty much my occupation, I just wish there were more wacky films out there I could see, but I never seem to find real good ones.

^This is my favourite part of my favourite movie. It makes me really sad> but happy at the same time. I always watch it when I’m feeling down. It doesn’t make me happy, but it sort of makes me look at my life…

Legalize Marijuana?

Let me admit, I was (maybe still am) into all of this legalize weed shit, but then one day at Arby’s, I got to thinking.

When it comes to legal smokables, we’ve got tobacco, and plenty off it. We’ve got tobacco, and tobacco, and tobacco, and all of those chemicals they stuff into cigarettes. It’s crap, honestly, and I don’t want that to happen to marijuana. Maybe there’s something I’m missing here, and maybe this is all for nothing, but lets face it. After MaryJane is legal all over, some big ass company is going to try to sell it the same way as cigarettes. Maybe you can pick up a pack at a liquor store or a bar, maybe even a smoke shop. Cool. But then what? Mr. company guy over here wants more. So they’ll sell cartons. But no, the lawmakers say that its too much. So then what? Mr. company guy dulls down the effects with chemicals and artificial nonsense and sells them again. Fast forward and what is this? A potent plant that has turned into a crap fest of chemicals. That is so not cool, man! Of course they’re will always be the option of smoking it fresh, but how many people do you know smoke fresh tobacco?

Where will the people be? Let’s say this far fetched evolution of my favourite plant to my least favourite habit (cigarette smoking) actually does occur? Now, I’ve always said, and stuck to my theories of me only consuming natural ‘drugs’ such as marijuana and magic mushrooms, but what will happen when kids get their hands on weed just as easy as cigarettes. Oh, come on, every healthy normal kid gets into cigarettes at a young age, probably twelve to thirteen. Gathering with friends, getting sick over the first accidental inhale. Completely normal, right? Then, a few years later, after a few other experiences, your average child here will try alcohol for the first time. Not such a big deal. High school comes along and marijuana comes along as well. A few fun experiences with a few good friends, and bam. You’ve officially passed your normal kid + drug behaviours test. But what if little Johnnie can snatch some weed just as easily as we could have snatched a cigarette as kids? Here we have a little eleven to thirteen year old kid having a good time with weed. Cool. High school comes along, and then Johnnie tries alcohol. Cool. Now what? Most likely, Johnnie wants a stronger high. Then Johnnie is a crack addict before he is even half way through high school.

I love weed, but all I’m saying is legalizing it will make idiots take it for granted. ‘The people’ will be harder to find, and it will flaw the whole normal kid scale.  I guess I’m at a draw, because when it’s illegal, people get fined and get thrown in jail for no reason.

WHAT IS THIS??

There is absolutely something totally awesome about brand new CDs. The cases are still shiny and unscratched and its just an awesome feeling to pull off the plastic casing and put it in, listening to it for the first time, you know? Especially when it’s a band you love. I just got Led Zeppelin, The Ramones and Billy Idol. Life’s pretty good right now.